by Niall Douglas. Last updated . This page has been accessed 9,792 times since the 31st October 1998.
You are connecting to the IPv4 version of this website from the IP address 188.8.131.52. You can try the IPv6-only version if you want.
You can quickly jump into the index using this
quick navigation bar:
Thursday 15th October 1998: 6.15am, been a long night. In fact, it's been a long ol' month too ... well, let's see what I've been up to since the last update ...
Well, I moved back to the Lawns on the 28th or so, and that was cool. I spent that final week before moving back nearly comatose from the alcohol I was consuming (I was living for the last week with this alcoholic mate I mentioned). Waking up with kidney pains is not fun, and I was surprised at how addictive alcohol can be. As in, if your body gets used to it, it really doesn't like not getting any suddenly ...
I'm now the chairman of the Hull Hempology Society and that's been keeping me busy enough. In addition, I'm also now a member of the Lawns Residents Association (hereafter called the LRA) and solely due to me it's enjoying somewhat of a revival from its prior "waste of space" state. We now have a new LRA noticeboard showing what we do (or don't as the case may be!). Also, due to me, we now have a weekly video afternoon on Sunday's and regular-ish events in the Lawns Concourse. Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm good aren't I ... :)
Women have gone middle-ishly. I haven't met the love of my life, put it that way. And the first week was a real cunt - all these freshers pairing off with each other willy-nilly certainly reminded me of this time last year when I was head over heels with Kathryn. Actually, she's still around, and we're still talking, and I'm finally over her. I'm glad about that. It might have taken even longer :(
Because of my somewhat busy schedule, I have a huge backlog of email, so sorry to those I haven't replied to yet. I've already started on the > a month ones, I'll eventually get to you all. I'll also get the hardware pages updated when I get round to it - problem is a number of money making ventures have to come first never mind coursework and society and political commitments. I'll do when I can. Hmm, that reminds me - I have to reply to a number of snailmail letters too ... damn!
And as for this diary, I've decided it needs more updates (y'never say Niall!). Now I have my network connection in my room (this happened today, hence this update), I don't see any reason why we can't return to the quality of May as now I'll be doing as I type - unlike over the summer. And no doubt as I meet more people than ever before in the coming weeks and months, I'll be running into the relationships chestnut again. Oh BTW I'm now going to start back into relationships as of next November - not a whole year which I felt was too boring and would result in far too boring entries in here ;) - also, it'll give me some time to pick and choose rather than jumping in. I have a number of "openings" already which may or may not prove fruitful - you'll all be the first to hear here, so watch for that.
And umm, that's that I think. Lots more than this has happened over the last three weeks obviously, but I can't remember it, and besides I couldn't be arsed typing it all in. It's half six and I do need some form of sleep, despite the lack I've been getting of it recently. Tomorrow I have to hand out Hempology newsletters and get more gear. Can a day be any more busy? :)
Righto, that's me done, I'm off to bed. My apologies for the long delay since the last update - I promise it won't happen again! Take care, be happy, and cheers for sticking with reading these pages!
Wednesday 21st October 1998: Didn't quite make it to bed, but I did find this: G'Kar's speech about searching for God from an episode of Babylon 5.
Earlier today ...12.33am, apologies for the long time between updates right now. It's not so much my fault as rather I'm too busy. But don't worry readers, that will be changing in the next while.
You'll no doubt be glad to hear that once again, I have become entangled with women. Her name is Elli (hi Elii!), and we've been together for umm, three days now. Now this brings up some interesting things, because if you remember Suzanna you'll remember that relationships with me always start off pretty shakily - for the first few weeks we're always being really nasty to each other. So now I'm into another, it may well prove the case again. In which case, you'll get some really great entries in here - hoorah! Also, I'll write about how she fits into Niall's theory of women at some stage soon - not really sure enough yet myself to do so now :( - however, be assured that I haven't made many of the mistakes I made with Kathryn, and in addition - I don't have a bad gut feeling this time unlike I did with Kathryn. In fact, actually, I have a really good gut feeling. Which makes me worry, cos it's bound to be wrong then ;)
As for the political scene, I'm now no longer chair of Hempology, mainly as they've decided they don't actually want a chair anymore. Which is good in a way, as I'm busy enough as it is without helping run Hempology. I've also laid on several events here at the Lawns between now and Christmas, including Hempology who play on Nov 18th, and I've played a large part in constructing the new LRA constitution.
And other than that, it's boring right now. Which is why it's time for a rant. And that would be about none other than condoms.
According to Durex, condoms are pretty much universally 18cm long and 104mm in circumference, no matter the manufacturer. Except you see, they lie. Because condoms do vary quite a lot. Durex ones are longer and wider, Mates (made by Ansell) are slightly shorter and thinner, and there are these condoms by these Spanish people called R&B which are very short and thin (I learnt this whilst with Suzanna).
So why am I on about this? Because it gets my goat. Picture this: Niall is busy getting round to shagging some bird and she pulls out a condom. Niall sticks it on. Niall goes for it, but a half hour later he's still going. Why? Because the frigging thing is sufficiently tight it cuts off my blood supply and I can't climax.
Or else picture this: Niall's doing same as above, Niall sticks it on and goes for it, but the damn thing keeps slipping off causing a pregnancy scare never mind a complete dampener.
Now, I really don't see why they can't go off, do a survey, and start making different sized condoms for different sized men. Durex reckon penises mostly range from 15 to 16cm (which I'm over might I add, but you probably didn't want to know that ...) and have a circumference of 130 to 140mm which requires a circumference of 104mm to make it stay on. However, they also reckon that penis size varies by about 20%, so they could be as small as 108mm or as large as 162mm. If they were large, then a Durex condom above would constrict them by some 35% - if small, then it's only by 3%. Now, if you work it out, Durex are assuming that a constriction of 23% is an adequate amount to ensure it doesn't slip off but also retains some blood flow - so if this is the case, then a range of 3% to 35% is clearly unacceptable.
Now I figure that if condom manufacturers could only start selling condoms sized - say from 1 to 10 - then we'd all be far better off. And you would have thought they'd have thought of this themselves? Well, maybe they have - Durex have obviously done their research. So why haven't they implemented it?
Well, god knows, and given it's now 3.42am and I have a 9.15 lecture tomorrow, I really have to go to bed and so can't really talk about it more. Sorry!
Right, I'm off, be happy and see you again soon! I'll get back to daily updates as of tomorrow depending on what time I get back at.
Saturday 24th October 1998: 2.12am, ugh, feel like shit. Got some bloody lurgie, probably from not going to bed Thursday night as Elli kept me up after a night at LA's! That's the problem with being human - being susceptible to not sleeping enough, doing too many stressful things and not eating enough!
Anyway, got the garage night more formalised which is cool - just have to work out the maths behind paying for everything. Also caught up with lots of people on Friday - it was a productive day. One of the many I caught up with was Kathryn, and we talked for the first time since just before the summer. It wasn't really all that substantial for two hours of dialogue mainly as I did all the talking - but essentially, I told her that I felt that we were best friends before so why not be so again? She knows me better than almost anyone, and I do her too, so it could be very beneficial for both of us. But she's still very bitter, angry and afraid so I guess it's not unreasonable to expect her to step very gingerly around this. We'll see.
Ooo, my head hurts. Even the herb is having trouble containing this headache, although I have to admit there was a world of difference between me before a smoke and me after. Even with this bush I have at the moment (rather acrid to smoke), I am definately more functional after - although I still feel like shit, but it seems perhaps more external.
Now I said last entry I was going to give you my reckoning of how Elli fits into Niall's theory of women. I had been hoping for more exposure to her first, because she's very hard to pinpoint mainly as she's bloody bright. However, I haven't quite got enough yet - on the other hand, I doubt I ever will, so better now than later I reckon. Now this will be pretty useless to you, but my feeling at the moment is that she is what I would like Joana to become. There are some very similar traits already - their intelligence and their ability to act for a start. Also, their transparency and appeal to me is another. And of course, the fact this type is very similar to the Natalie type is most certainly very attractive, given my only decent relationship so far has been with Ruth.
However, there are also differences. Elli simply does not have the aggressive streak Ruth or Natalie had. Instead, it is replaced far more with a manipulative streak - where Ruth would become aggressive and violent, Elli would (I think) become cunning and manipulative. This difference is probably down to upbringing and parental atmosphere.
(hang on, I'll just skin up a joint to think with ... will finish this update in a minute ...)
4.15am now - sorry for the delay! Getting back to the point, Elli I would say is fundamentally a Natalie type with overtures of Rosalin in places, but thankfully so far only in good ways. I mean, while Natalie would be incapable of deliberately going out to break me, Elli is not, and while this worries me, there are many things in this world which worry me, most of which have to be trusted that they will not surface. Elli I believe is good at heart and wouldn't deliberately hurt me, but the fact remains that she is capable of it, unlike say Natalie or Ruth.
Now while this ability to manipulate can be bad, it also can be good. I'm very much a control freak in relationships, which was very much evidenced while with Kathryn. With Ruth, she was just too darn nice for me to manipulate her, and so far with Elli I'm deliberately avoiding it (Kathryn's legacy). With Ruth though I could let down internal walls, knowing I was safe, whereas that will take quite a bit more work with Elli as there's an element of trust involved and as such, trust in that person not to use that knowledge against me. Especially after Kathryn and indeed Joana, it will take time for that trust to build.
Urm, I meant to say good points! Essentially, the theory goes that with someone like Ruth, while I could not bring myself to crush them, there's nothing there to stop me (which is why I couldn't bring myself to do it). With Elli, she has her own very formidable abilities, and so (theroretically) offers a counterbalance to mine, and so (supposedly) everything should work out fine. Given all this is unexplored, and in fact I really don't know, I guess I'm basing a lot of being with Elli on supposition like I did with Kathryn. Which should be bad right? Well, I'd agree, except that at the start with Kathryn I had a bad gut feeling. With Elli, other than her not smoking the good stuff, I don't. And yes readers, you'd be right - given how much of my life revolves around the stuff, her stern opposition to it could cause a very painful breakup mainly as I think she's being unreasonable and her with me too (worst possible kind of breakup). But I don't know really - it's hard to be sensible when everything else is going for you. OTOH, if everything were perfect life wouldn't be fun. So I guess this will make it fun. Oh goodie, how soooo lucky am I ... ;)
Well, that's me done - off to bed now. Be happy, and see you again soon!
Tuesday, 27th of October, in the year 1998 :-) Hello! Elli here! Believe it or not, Niall has allowed me to write to you on his page. Hmm, well let's start with some background info. I'm an American on an exchange program to........you guessed it: University of Hull. First impressions, well, it is really cold. Alright, it isn't that cold, but I left my hometown in a tee-shirt and flip-flops and needless to say, I had to rethink my wardrobe choices. Right now I'm sitting with the heater on my feet, and Niall is making me very nervous because he's right here reading everything I'm typing to you. You might even know Niall better than I do because he seems to be quite open in his entries...but let's see if I can word my impressions of him. Niall is a charismatic young man who feels that he needs to conquer the world in order to make it a better place (of course). This sometimes gets in the way of his studies (in fact it always does, which might be the reason for him not making it to a single lecture in the month that they've been going on). In spite of all his many faults (sorry about that Niall) he is one of the most interesting people I've ever met. Every moment with him brings new challenges (mostly trying to prove that he's being unreasonable), and it's always a pleasure to spend time with him. At this point I'm sure you're gagging from the sticky-sweet stuff oozing from this page. Sorry about that! Okay, what I really think is that Niall needs to actually do some studying and stop trying to do so much. In terms of our relationship, it scares me because it's going very well, and that can be a dangerous thing. If things go too well, you're likely to start enjoying it too much and not analyzing the situation enough. That's where you really get into trouble. When you stop analyzing, bad things happen and you don't even see them coming. So, I'm trying not to get caught up in everything, which makes me feel badly because a part of me is saying, "Don't worry, enjoy what's going on." Oh well, so far I've managed to keep a happy medium. We'll just have to see how it goes from here. As much as I enjoy talking to you, I enjoy cuddling with Niall about 10 times as much, so that's what I'm going to do now. Maybe Niall will let me type some more some other time. Thanks for listening! -Elli
Niall again: Just to let you know I'll be back again soon for another update - right now I've got better things to do which I'm sure you can appreciate! So, go browse somewhere else for now and see you soon - and of course, be happy!
Friday 30th October 1998: 4.57am, good morning everyone! I've just come to after tonight's session and whilst still feeling a bit delicate, I decided to do an entry whilst still stoned enough to have trouble walking ... hell why not? ;)
Yeah, I've been doing bongs of this clever concoction of mine - boiled hash. Essentially, as you all know I'm sure, cannabis resin in the UK comes in a pretty adulterated form with such lovely items as henna (makes it sticky and feel oilier), road hardener (makes it clump together), animal tranquiliser (makes it seem stronger and mongs you out) to name but a few. Given that especially the last is so common that many cainers think that top bud is "weak" because they don't feel "tranquilised" enough, it makes sense to get rid of as much of this crap as possible. One easy way to do this is to literally boil your hash.
Here's how you do it: chop up your hash into little chunks about pea sized. Boil lots of water, stick some of it in a pan and boil it till it froths. Now drop in your hash and let it froth for a good few minutes, during which the water will go brown-green and smell foul. Remove from heat source, let the sediment fall to the bottom and then tip the water off the top carefully ensuring none of the sediment goes with it.
Now add some more water and use a knife to chop up any lumps at the bottom (everything will be real soft by now anyway, so no worries). Let her boil to frothiness once more, and again pour off the water leaving the sediment. By rights you should do this at least three or four times - work on the basis of how clear the water looks - you'll never get it to go cristal clear, but you can get reasonably close without too much work.
Once done, pour off as much water as you can without losing any sediment if you can manage it, and scrape the sludge at the bottom onto some tissue paper. Leave the lot to dry out (takes a few days), and finally scrape (gently) the dried powder into a bag of some sorts. Voila, you now have boiled hash. BTW, some like to at the blotting stage to roll the sludge into a ball using your hands which makes it easier to handle later, but does get your hands very messy and causes waste.
Once dry, boiled hash is very dissimilar to normal stuff. It's all in powder for a start, so you don't need to burn it down or anything - just pick up a bit and crumble like grass. It also smells a bit odd, and very light - so it looks like a lot although you'll usually find you've lost about half your weight eg; a quarter becomes an eighth. The other thing you'll notice is the taste - very odd, much smoother than dog bar but almost untastable as hash so perhaps this would help for surruptious smoking. But the best bit you'll notice is the strength - this stuff is way stronger than dog bar in a non-monging sense ie; you smoke some of this and while you stop thinking for a while, you stay wide awake. In fact, the high is very much like grass or bud - pure THC, no crappy animal tranquiliser.
So how does this work? Well, THC won't dissolve in water but animal tranquiliser and henna does as does much of the vegetable matter. Hence you dissolve off much of the adulterants (unfortunately not including the road hardener) and excess weighting material (which has lots of tar and stuff in it) and keep little granules with THC stuck to them. The result is much like if you vapourise your cannabis - very clean smoke, almost entirely THC and no taste or much other. But still better than smoking crap, although the lack of taste is especially annoying.
Anyway, tonight I went bonging with some block mates and passed out around 1-2am and woke up about 5am whereupon I started writing this. But today's been after quite a hectic week - and I needed the relaxation. Tuesday night, that being of the last entry's time, saw me campaigning for my election to union council at some of the uni traditional halls where I didn't do very well at all. That night I called round to Elli's where spontaneously we decided to go to the Waterfront club, which we did and while she had a great time (her type of music was on there), I didn't do so well as it's definately not my music taste. That said though, I had a far better time than I would have thought I should have had - which led me to think about why, and I came to the unfortunate conclusion that it looks like the l-word may be rearing its ugly head yet once more. I hate relationships. They involve emotions :(
Wednesday saw me out of bed late afternoon and campaigning again down the Lawns. Here I did much better, and I reckon here got me in (hopefully!). I also formally became part of the LRA at the meeting that night, and after putting up lots of Halloween disco posters I drank beer for the rest of the evening and had a quiet night. Thursday was a bit of a crunch day - I got several events organised more and got H.U.U. Campaigns to tell me how to go about getting a legalisation campaign started within the union with reference to May 1st next year. Interesting stuff - requires me to write a passionate speech!
And umm, still haven't gone to any lectures or done any coursework or stuff. This is bad actually. I'll fail this semester if I keep this up. Hmm, I think I want a game of Unreal now. So I'm going to go have one, then I'm going to take a few more bong hits and pass out once more. Being a student's fun ... stay up until 6am playing computer games and bonging cannabis. What more does a person need or want ... well, I'm missing Elli as she's in Scotland right now, but other than that ... yup, I reckon I'm pretty sweet!
Right, I'm off, be happy and all that, and see you again soon! Oh BTW, hi Bucket! Cheers for reading for all this time ...